Book Club Questions for Slow Dance by Rainbow Rowell

Book club questions and discussion guide for Slow Dance by Rainbow Rowell

Rainbow Rowell’s Slow Dance (2024) is the August pick for Reese Witherspoon’s Book Club, and it’s a must-read for anyone who loves a good second-chance romance. The story follows Shiloh and Cary, two best friends from their teens who reconnect after 14 years at a wedding. Now in their 30s, they reflect on their past and start to explore the love they never quite figured out.

slow dance book discussion guide with book club questions

Table Of Contents

What’s Included in This Guide: Online & Printable Versions
Slow Dance
- Slow Dance by Rainbow Rowell
Slow Dance Book Reviews
Book Club Questions for Slow Dance
Q&A about Slow Dance with Rainbow Rowell
Rainbow Rowell Author Biography
Frequently Asked Questions
Books Like Slow Dance
Printer Friendly Discussion Questions
More Book Club Guides

What’s Included in This Guide: Online & Printable Versions

Everything you need for a successful book club meeting for Slow Dance is included below. You’ll find discussion questions, food and drink ideas, and more!

We also have an optional printable Slow Dance book club kit to take your meeting to the next level. This blog post is customized to Familiaris and includes the following pages:

Character List
Discussion Questions
Quotes from the Book
Themed Slow Dance Ideas
Printable Bookmarks
Extra Info: Author facts
Themed Food & Drink Ideas
Book Covers from Around the World
Custom Journal Page for Meeting Details
Themed Notes Page
List of Additional Book Club Resources

About the Author | Q&A with Rainbow Rowell

Book Club Questions | Additional Recommendations | Book Club Kit

Slow Dance

Slow Dance is all about first loves, missed chances, and how complicated adult relationships can get. It’s nostalgic, heartfelt, and perfect for anyone who believes in new beginnings.

Rowell is known for her earlier hits like Eleanor & Park (2013), which put her on the map with its sweet take on first love, and Fangirl, a fan-favorite about finding your voice. If you love those, you’ll definitely want to check out Slow Dance.

Slow Dance by Rainbow Rowell

Release date: July 30, 2024
Genre: Coming of Age Fiction
Hardcover: 992 pages
Publisher: William Morrow

Slow Dance Book Reviews

“Deeply human, profoundly romantic. Rowell tackles the challenges of love lost and rediscovered with nuance and candor. She will break your heart and you’ll thank her for it.”
— Leigh Bardugo, New York Times bestselling author

“Rowell is talented enough to be uncategorizable. . . . Landline belongs to a genre of its very own.” — New York Times

“Who can deny the absolute, dizzy pleasure of loving a novel so much that you cannot bear to put it down, that you want to do nothing but keep flipping pages, that you want to immerse yourself fully and not come up for air until you are finished. I read Slow Dance in just that way, breathless and weeping. There is no one better than Rainbow at creating flawed, deeply human people. I loved every page of Slow Dance, a book that is romantic to its core, and as funny and smart as its wonderful characters.”
— Emma Straub, New York Times bestselling author

Book Club Questions for Slow Dance

Shiloh and Cary’s friendship was once the most important relationship in their lives, but time and circumstances led to their estrangement. What do you think caused their rift? Was it inevitable, or could they have saved their bond?
The novel explores how both Shiloh and Cary have changed over the years. How do you think their past relationship shaped who they are in the present? How does their reunion challenge their personal growth?
Shiloh often feels like she is “bad at holding on to people,” especially when comparing herself to Mikey, who seems to effortlessly maintain connections. How does this feeling of inadequacy affect her actions throughout the story? Can you relate to Shiloh’s struggle with maintaining relationships?
At the beginning of the novel, Shiloh and Cary are both hesitant and anxious about seeing each other again after 14 years. How does the tension between them evolve as the story progresses? What role does nostalgia play in their interactions?
The book is structured with flashbacks that slowly reveal the complexities of Shiloh and Cary’s past. How did the shifting timeline impact your reading experience? Did you find it more engaging to learn about their history piece by piece rather than in a linear fashion?
One of the themes in the book is that Shiloh and Cary understand each other better than anyone else—but sometimes that leads to miscommunication. Did you find it frustrating when they assumed they knew how the other felt? Or did it feel real to you?
Dating after a divorce is never simple, especially when kids are involved. How do you think Shiloh and Cary handle the challenges of reconnecting after so many years? What did you notice about their dynamic as adults?
Being around Cary as an adult brings Shiloh back to her teenage self. Are there any pieces of your own teenage years you’d like to reconnect with now as an adult?
What did you think of Shiloh’s relationship with her mom? How does it compare to her relationship with her kids? Was there a particular moment that stood out to you?
Shiloh is faced with the reality that she didn’t become the person she thought she would be in high school. She’s a single mom, living with her mother, and not an actress like she imagined. How do you think this disappointment shapes her identity and her perception of success?
In the book, Shiloh is described as someone with “subtle beauty,” while Cary is noted as being magnetic but not conventionally attractive. What do you think the novel is saying about how we perceive beauty and attraction over time? How does this reflect the themes of change and self-acceptance?
Mikey’s wedding serves as the catalyst for Shiloh and Cary’s reunion. Why do you think this event was significant for both of them? How does the idea of “home” play into the narrative, both literally (the wedding) and figuratively (the reunion)?
The characters in Slow Dance are far from perfect. They are messy, complicated, and sometimes make mistakes. How do you think the novel portrays the messiness of life and relationships? Do you think the messiness makes the characters more relatable or more difficult to empathize with?
Shiloh and Cary’s relationship is central to the story, but the book also touches on themes of family, responsibility, and the passage of time. How do the other characters—like Mikey, Shiloh’s mother, and even Shiloh’s children—contribute to the overall story?
The novel touches on how high school friendships often don’t survive the transition into adulthood. Do you think Slow Dance challenges the idea that we outgrow our friendships as we change, or does it affirm this belief?
When Shiloh divorced her ex, she fought for 50-50 custody, thinking it was better for the kids to have a dad who would fight for them. What do you make of this situation, especially considering how Ryan treated her during their marriage?
Cary’s childhood was marked by witnessing his mother’s unhealthy relationships and lack of family support. How does this impact his adult life and choices? How did you feel about his relationship with his mother by the end of the book?
Did Shiloh and Cary’s relationship remind you of any past friendships or relationships you’ve had? Maybe a “what could have been” kind of vibe?
Shiloh’s perception of herself in high school seems at odds with how others saw her. How do you think that difference affected the person she became as an adult?
Shiloh and Cary’s bond is tested not only by time but by their individual life choices and circumstances. Do you believe that deep, meaningful friendships can survive even the most difficult periods of life, or are some relationships simply too fragile to last?
By the end of the novel, Shiloh and Cary’s relationship is still unresolved. Do you think there is hope for their friendship to flourish again, or are they better off moving forward separately? How do you interpret the novel’s ending?
Rainbow Rowell is known for writing characters with deep emotional complexity. Which character in Slow Dance did you connect with the most, and why? Were there any moments or lines that particularly resonated with you?
The theme of forgiveness is explored throughout the book, both in terms of forgiveness between friends and forgiving oneself. What do you think the novel says about the difficulty and importance of forgiveness? Do you believe Shiloh and Cary can truly forgive each other?
The title of the book, Slow Dance, feels like it symbolizes more than just a literal dance. As the story unfolds, how did you interpret the significance of the title? Did it evolve for you?
Do you think Shiloh and Cary’s friendship would have turned into something more if they’d dated in high school? How might their relationship have been different (or the same) if they had?
Shiloh and Cary’s financial struggles really shape their lives and choices. How do their financial realities affect their relationship and the way they see each other?
Shiloh describes motherhood as something that takes over your whole head, saying you never want anything more than to make your kids happy. How do you think the way she loves her kids compares to how she loves Cary, her mom, or even herself?
A big theme in the book is how the brain remembers novelty but forgets the everyday. By the end, Shiloh promises to create so many good memories with Cary that they’ll blur together. What did this idea make you think about the role of memories and nostalgia in your own life? Do you believe in the power of creating those “blurred” moments?
Shiloh and Cary both carry baggage from their past, yet they seem to offer each other something the other has been missing. How do you think their friendship (and potential romance) helps them heal?
At one point, Shiloh reflects on the idea that people don’t really change, but they can still grow. Do you agree with her? How do you think Shiloh and Cary demonstrate personal growth throughout the book, even if they haven’t changed fundamentally?

Q&A about Slow Dance with Rainbow Rowell

Q: Can you tell us about Shiloh and Cary’s relationship in Slow Dance?

Rainbow Rowell: Shiloh and Cary are two kids from a tough neighborhood in Omaha. They were part of a close-knit trio during their teenage years, along with their friend Mikey. Although everyone around them thought Shiloh and Cary were probably dating, they never saw it that way—especially Shiloh, who feared that things would change when they graduated. She made Cary promise that nothing would change, which of course, set the stage for the collapse of their friendship after high school. Slow Dance is set 14 years later, when they’re in their 30s, and they’re trying to figure out if they can reconnect or if their relationship was always more complicated than they thought.

Q: Why did you decide to drop readers into the story at Mikey’s wedding, after Shiloh and Cary have been estranged for so many years?

Rainbow Rowell: I think it’s always more dramatic for readers to see characters in the present and wonder how they got there, rather than telling the story in order. When I first started writing Slow Dance, I had originally planned to begin in high school with scenes from their past, but I quickly realized that Dungeons & Dragons was too “old school” for modern readers to connect with. Once I realized that, I decided it was more interesting to drop Shiloh and Cary into the present moment—at Mikey’s wedding—because that’s when the reader starts to feel the tension of their reunion. It’s a more compelling way to explore how they’ve grown apart and what that means for their potential future.

Q: In the book, Shiloh reflects on how she’s “bad at holding on to people.” Is this something you personally relate to?

Rainbow Rowell: Yes, I think when I’m writing characters, I often splinter off pieces of myself and expand on them. I can definitely relate to Shiloh’s sense of sometimes holding on too tight and other times letting go. I think when life gets overwhelming, especially with young children or big life changes, you start editing people out of your life—sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously. It’s a difficult balance. For Shiloh, she feels like she failed Cary in the way she let their friendship fall apart. But she’s also facing a lot in her own life, which makes it hard to keep everything intact.

Q: Can you talk about how you imagined Shiloh and Cary’s appearance? Were there any surprises in how they looked to you as you wrote?

Rainbow Rowell: I don’t often start with physical descriptions because I think it pulls you out of the story. I want readers to experience a character’s appearance when the character notices it themselves. I wanted Shiloh and Cary to feel like “normal” people, because that’s more relatable. When I write, I think about what makes someone attractive not in an “objectively beautiful” way, but in the way that you might become drawn to a specific trait or feature over time. The kind of attraction that’s less about perfection and more about the person becoming magnetic in your eyes. For Shiloh, I wanted her to have a subtle beauty—she’s not supermodel pretty, but there’s something about her that draws people in. Cary, too, feels more like someone who becomes attractive in the way that time and life make people settle into themselves.

Q: How does the story of Shiloh and Cary resonate with the experience of growing up, especially after a challenging or difficult high school period?

Rainbow Rowell: I think what’s special about Slow Dance is that it deals with the idea that people change, sometimes in ways that are unexpected, and sometimes those changes make it hard to hold on to certain relationships. High school is a weird time, and for Shiloh, she held on to the idea that her life would turn out exactly as she imagined it, but it didn’t. She’s not the actress she thought she’d be, and she’s a single mom with two kids, living back in her childhood neighborhood. As she reconnects with Cary, she realizes that her own life’s path might not be what she expected, but that doesn’t mean it’s less valid or important. It’s a story about growth, acceptance, and trying to reconnect with parts of your past that you thought were lost.

Rainbow Rowell Author Biography

Rainbow Rowell is one of those authors whose books you pick up, and you instantly feel like you’re connecting with an old friend. Based in Omaha, Nebraska, Rowell has a knack for writing relatable, heartfelt stories about love, friendship, and personal growth—whether it’s first love or second chances.

She made a huge splash in 2013 with Eleanor & Park, a novel about two outsiders finding love in the 80s. It became an instant classic, praised for its raw emotion and realness. That same year, she released Fangirl, which explored the world of fanfiction and fandoms, resonating deeply with anyone who’s ever felt a little out of place.

Rainbow’s books are full of heart, and she’s not afraid to tackle some tough themes—like in Landline, where a woman uses a mysterious phone to reconnect with her past. But she’s also got a great sense of humor, which keeps her stories from ever feeling too heavy.

In 2024, Rowell released Slow Dance, an adult romance about rekindling a lost love, and it’s already getting a lot of buzz, being chosen as Reese Witherspoon’s Book Club pick for the month.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I Get a Printable Version of the Book Club Guide?

Yes! We have a printable version, just scroll down below.

Is There a Slow Dance Audiobook?

Yes, there is an audiobook version of Slow Dance by Rainbow Rowell.

Narrated by: Rebecca Lowman

Released: June 11, 2024

Listening length: 11 hours and 31 minutes

Language: English

Most people find the book great, fun, and well-written. They describe the romance as touching, poignant, and endearing. Readers also mention the pace is slow, while opinions are mixed on the character development, with some finding them lovely and others saying they’re annoying.

Is There a Slow Dance Movie?

There has been no movie adaptation of Slow Dance released as of now.

Are There Other Books by Rainbow Rowell?

Now, if you’re a Rainbow Rowell fan (and who isn’t after Slow Dance?), there are a few other gems from her that you NEED to check out:

Landline
Landline is a bit more magical—literally! It’s about a woman who finds a way to communicate with her husband in the past through a mysterious phone line, giving her a second chance to fix her marriage. It’s all about love, timing, and second chances, much like Slow Dance but with a fun twist.

Attachments
Rowell’s debut novel is a sweet, quirky workplace romance set in the late ‘90s, featuring a guy who accidentally reads his co-worker’s emails and falls for her. It’s packed with charm and feels, and while it’s lighter than Slow Dance, it still has that emotional punch.

Eleanor & Park
This book launched Rowell into the spotlight for a reason. It’s a beautiful YA story about first love between two teens in the ‘80s. If you loved the deep, raw emotions of Slow Dance, you’ll adore the way Rowell writes about love and identity here. It’s heartwarming and heartbreaking all at once.

Fangirl
If you’re into fandom culture or love a coming-of-age story, Fangirl is Rowell at her best. It’s about Cath, a socially awkward college freshman navigating family, fandom, and her first real love. Shiloh’s introverted nature in Slow Dance reminds me a lot of Cath’s character here.

Books Like Slow Dance

The Unwedding by Ally Condie

The White Lotus meets Agatha Christie in this bold novel from a #1 New York Times bestselling author, “a knife’s-edge whodunit that’s as much a thriller as it is an exquisite meditation on grief and loss.” (Nicola Yoon)

Ellery Wainwright is alone at the edge of the world.

She and her husband, Luke, were supposed to spend their twentieth wedding anniversary together at the luxurious Resort at Broken Point in Big Sur, California. Where better to celebrate a marriage, a family, and a life together than at one of the most stunning places on earth?

But now she’s traveling solo.

To add insult to injury, there’s a wedding at Broken Point scheduled during her stay. Ellery remembers how it felt to be on the cusp of everything new and wonderful, with a loved and certain future glimmering just ahead. Now, she isn’t certain of anything except for her love for her kids and her growing realization that this place, though beautiful, is unsettling.

When Ellery discovers the body of the groom floating in the pool in the rain, she realizes that she is not the only one whose future is no longer guaranteed. Before the police can reach Broken Point, a mudslide takes out the road to the resort, leaving the guests trapped. When another guest dies, it’s clear something horrible is brewing.

Everyone at Broken Point has a secret. And everyone has a shadow. Including Ellery.

Attachments by Rainbow Rowell

From the award-winning, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Slow Dance, Wayward Son, Fangirl, Carry On, and Landline comes a hilarious and heartfelt novel about an office romance that blossoms one email at a time….

Beth Fremont and Jennifer Scribner-Snyder know that somebody is monitoring their work e-mail. (Everybody in the newsroom knows. It’s company policy.) But they can’t quite bring themselves to take it seriously. They go on sending each other endless and endlessly hilarious e-mails, discussing every aspect of their personal lives.

Meanwhile, Lincoln O’Neill can’t believe this is his job now—reading other people’s e-mail. When he applied to be “internet security officer,” he pictured himself building firewalls and crushing hackers—not writing up a report every time a sports reporter forwards a dirty joke.

When Lincoln comes across Beth’s and Jennifer’s messages, he knows he should turn them in. He can’t help being entertained, and captivated, by their stories. But by the time Lincoln realizes he’s falling for Beth, it’s way too late to introduce himself. What would he even say…?

The Cliffs by J. Courtney Sullivan

On a secluded bluff overlooking the ocean sits a Victorian house, lavender with gingerbread trim, a home that contains a century’s worth of secrets. By the time Jane Flanagan discovers the house as a teenager, it has long been abandoned. The place is an irresistible mystery to Jane. There are still clothes in the closets, marbles rolling across the floors, and dishes in the cupboards, even though no one has set foot there in decades. The house becomes a hideaway for Jane, a place to escape her volatile mother.

Twenty years later, now a Harvard archivist, she returns home to Maine following a terrible mistake that threatens both her career and her marriage. Jane is horrified to find the Victorian is now barely recognizable. The new owner, Genevieve, a summer person from Beacon Hill, has gutted it, transforming the house into a glossy white monstrosity straight out of a shelter magazine. Strangely, Genevieve is convinced that the house is haunted—perhaps the product of something troubling Genevieve herself has done. She hires Jane to research the history of the place and the women who lived there. The story Jane uncovers—of lovers lost at sea, romantic longing, shattering loss, artistic awakening, historical artifacts stolen and sold, and the long shadow of colonialism—is even older than Maine itself.

Enthralling, richly imagined, filled with psychic mediums and charlatans, spirits and past lives, mothers, marriage, and the legacy of alcoholism, this is a deeply moving novel about the land we inhabit, the women who came before us, and the ways in which none of us will ever truly leave this earth.

Printer Friendly Discussion Questions

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Happy reading! ❤️

Luka

I love to read and I enjoy exploring a range of genres including contemporary and historical fiction, mysteries, thrillers, nonfiction, and memoirs. If you would like me to review your book, feel free to reach out to me!